Vainpot

Relocation Announcement

2009-06-01T15:55:00.002+08:00

XANGA-roo

2009-06-01T14:01:00.001+08:00

I'm thinking of you, like i promised i would.
& i think i'm going crazy, like about to tear my hair out crazy.
scream, i know it's like the holidays and all but i'm so tired, so immensely frickin exhausted.

i wonder who actually reads this shit.

Lips

2009-06-01T01:03:00.003+08:00

It's 1 am and I'm sitting here.
Our msn-convo box is still open. I want to keep these little notes forever, I've missed this side of you, but your mom doesn't like me. So now what?
I treasure you, alot. Still remember those nights we were on the phone talking about our futures. We were young, still are young, just makes me wonder how long this will last.

Lips of an angel.

2009-05-31T23:46:00.002+08:00

have to find my celtx script
pack my bag
bring my hat
have painted my nails pink
have done my hair
am talking to Ern
will go to bed soon
am thirsty
believe this is the most bimbotic i've felt in a long time
realized theres no school tomorrow

8D

Stutter

2009-05-31T19:21:00.002+08:00

Paiseh for not updating. Was caught up and such. Yeeeeeahhhhh, as if.
School term has finally ended, I'm getting ready for camps, I'm planning out for CCA, I'm filling out my NYAA.
Haha, for my past absence, I've been out shopping with Oli and recovering from poisoning and going for aesthetics bbq and screaming at frisbees and perpetually getting laughed at by Jovi, Robin and (I believe their names are) Jordan and Elbon.
Geez, they were throwing the frisbees in a way that it will just fly less than an inch away from your face. If you move you'll get hit, so obv I'll scream right!

Ok, awaiting.

so if I stutter stutter stutter
and I feel so so so unsexy
so maybe I'll just keep my mouth shut
at least until you kiss me

so kiss me again
cause only only you can stop this st-st-st-stuttering
kiss me again
and ease my su-su-su-su-su-su-su-su-su-suffering

stuttering

2009-05-25T18:25:00.003+08:00

Days like today make me wonder why I ever gave a shit about making friends. And just gr8, like what I'm feeling now, the weather too soounds like it's about to rain (thunder) but looks nothing of the sort. It's actually quite breezy and bright unlike today's crazy heat waves. precisely what i'm feeling, xiao li chang dao (smile hiding dagger)

really dont want to be a bitch here, so tata.

conversations for hours

2009-05-24T21:20:00.001+08:00

i feel like updating a really long wordy post, but at the same time i dont.
and Sg's damn hot, and i need to burp, take a shower and sleep.

blah

2009-05-24T19:32:00.002+08:00

Ok, i realized that no one ever leaves a comment on my blog nowadays.
so sad.

And after playing sims2 for the past 3 hours, and having my sim go to school, i missed the point that I have school tomorrow as well. aha gr8. hope i dont get hair check/ attire check tmr.

nooooooo.

2009-05-22T22:52:00.001+08:00

MY EYES ARE SO FREAKING DRY AND MY SISTER'S PLAYING SOME WEIRD FLOWER GAME AND I CAN HEAR THE SOUND COMING FROM MY MOM'S LAPTOP. THERE IS CHURCH @ 2 TOMORROW COS OF CAMP BRIEFING AND I'M DAMN TIRED. GOODNIGHT.

the murderer learns fast

2009-05-22T22:40:00.002+08:00

it's finally the end of the week, hallelujah! i've got my results back & they're not that bad but i could have done bttr. anw it takes a mistake to let me learn more, no regrets.

classes have been pretty mundane this 2 days, so we played murderer while waiting for miss foo.
tp learns fast, from getting the card and then laughing and then won the game, learn spr fast eh.

ok, a random thought, my dnnr was really nice :D
i still want some, it's eggwrap fried rice. \m/

damn, i realize my post's rly stupid.

2009-05-21T22:29:00.001+08:00

Hello hello just a quick update.

Wait, i forgot what i wanted to say....

Oh right, i ate 1 plate of kwayteow, 1 plate of hokkien mee, 1 box of bacon&cheese tako, 1 hashbrown, 1 can of milo and 1 peach soda today.
For dnnr I had rice and chicken, beans and corn soup.

8D

Miss you much.

2009-05-20T19:42:00.002+08:00

Heartbroken, after my first love left me, I thought that I would never be able to love anyone the same way ever again. Everything reminded me of him. I didn't want anyone to replace him cause he meant so much to me. So, i kept myself from everyone that tried to get into my life. I lived with an emptiness for years. I thought that I wouldn't be able to feel the same way for anyone ever again but...
i met a guy... through one of my distant friends. At first I didn't want anything to have to do anything with him cause I knew I would get hurt all over again if I did. But after a while i decided to give it a try. He seemed sincere about me. I fell in love again. I was scared at first cause I didn't want to be left heartbroken again. Soon enough we were always together. I cherished every second we were together.

Do we all really have a clear idea what this love is.

lurbbeszxboiz

2009-05-20T19:07:00.003+08:00

Hello, been out with Kaykay today.
I'll let the photos do the talking cos I'm too lazy to type out all the shit we did.
Anyway, xoxozxlurrbesszxlurbbeszxzxchewboiiz. (winkwink! )
very few photos, i knw, but to hell with it. I'm munching on my digestive biscuits that cost like $3.50. \m/

2009-05-19T19:50:00.001+08:00

I'm in a really crap mood actually.
And I'm so fucking tempted to private my blog, or better yet, shut the whole whore-crap-hole down.

I might actually.
Think about it, so long you fraktards with no life.

strong enough

2009-05-19T19:28:00.002+08:00

Time please just fly by like a dove.
I want to get out of this madness.

And mind you, you're disgusting, i am appalled.
please, screw off.

On a extremely good note, i finished my papers at 0933am today, math.
Just to let you know.

2009-05-18T19:50:00.002+08:00

Flames to dust
lovers to friends
why do all good things come to an end.

2009-05-18T19:43:00.001+08:00

and to you,
we've been through much.

i'm just sorry i dont have the mood to be with you tonight.

my dear, it's your turn to watch me walk out of this door.

no

2009-05-18T19:37:00.002+08:00

Ok, good feeling's over.
i just hit rock bottom (again,) i don't feel like smiling, i just want to feel like we actually cared.
i mean, i used to shatter when you sopped caring, but now i dont feel anything. believe i should feel at the least, guilty or sad that we're not what we used to be. but i don't, i don't actually care, seriously.
i read and re-read memories again and again, just looking for traces which showed where we went wrong, i cringed before today, but as the days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, i find out that i dont care.

not anymore.

i really should.

forgive me and forget.

I NID TO REPLY SMS K BAI

2009-05-18T19:24:00.002+08:00

Wahaha tmr iz the last paper, which is the dreaded emath!
I bet you can hear the stupid band playing the 'jaws' theme song. my gosh, actually i bet you guyz have no idea how happy i feel right now.
MY GOSH MY GOSH, i assure you that my brain is going faster than i can type, and my thoughts are really short and random and don't really make sense! haha!
anyw my dog just jumped onto the dining table chair and sat in front of my mom's laptop, it's very funny hahahahahha.

.
.
.

ok, i wish school offered photography.
i wish God told me what to do through an email or somth cos sometimes i think my prayers become rejected mail, (i knw they dont) but it just feels that way.
oh my gosh i dont know la.
ok have a nice day people, goodbai.

2009-05-15T15:34:00.000+08:00

I'm sick, tired and feeling all out like a fucked up bitch.

never nooooooo

2009-05-14T19:45:00.001+08:00

I'm havingggggg gastricssssss.
hungry man, someone save meeeeeeeeeeee.

mu mouth very sour now.
8(

2009-05-14T18:54:00.000+08:00

i seriously can't be bothered to update you people with the course of my examinations.
so yeeeahhh,
btw it was olvia's birthday ystd * kylie came over to study today.

okok, i'm getting impatient.
i'll blog l8r.
goodbye humans.

relief

2009-05-11T18:20:00.002+08:00

i just heaved a huge sigh of relief.
thank God, thank God, thank God!

& i studied with kt today. did not study as long as i expected, but hey, at least i got study hor.
i feel good, and hungry. :/

dead and gone

2009-05-10T22:11:00.003+08:00

i feel like i just got slapped in the face.
i see now that many dreams, hopes and wonders people have are just impossible & sometimes i don't know why people, even me, why do we hold on to things that will not happen.
do we really think and believe that by some miracle blessings will fall from the skies? No, of course not. i really feel like giving up, my time, blood and sweat can be invested somewhere else, into something with a better future.
what a joke, there are hundreds, if not thousands of people who want the easy way out, maybe even millions of others out there who want what i want as well.
there are not enough platforms, and/or chances for everyone. and even if there was, i would not be outstanding enough,

maybe what i'm holding on is just a fused lightbulb. i probably was never cut out for it anyway. people around me who oft discouraged me are mostly correct,

"don't waste your time and money on photography. you're just doing it for the fun of it, and besides, you don't have the money to feed your hobby."

sucks to finally realize they're right, not one hint of untruth.
i really should let go, give up, admit defeat and eat the dust. fighter's spirit is finally tamed, i doubt i'll take photos again.

convince me if you may.

2009-05-10T20:42:00.002+08:00

Ok, time to do a little bit of reflections.
i've been browsing through my fbook, again, and i find out that i am just some prejudiced bitch!
i get gross-ed out by people who are a little more sensitive, (not gay) and i make fun at all of their dreams, characteristics and all else. i'm actually really mean.

also, when i read blog tags by people, like those kind of promises such as:
you tell me your blog i'll tell you mine

it's like a freaking compromise which is pretty redundant, and it's like an outright gesture that 'hey, i don't give a whatthafck that we're not friends anymore and i have other friends so i'll rub it in your face.'

fakes.
not that i'm extremely real, but yeah, you get my point. Alright, now to friendster, maybe i'll update more reflections l8r. ha-ha.

i know i did it, you're gone

2009-05-10T19:47:00.000+08:00

i shouldn't want you like i do,
but i do.

I'm treading water

2009-05-08T16:41:00.002+08:00

i'm really treading water.
i'll admit that that night i was feeling moody and irritated at you for trying to force me online.
i just wanted to let you know that i'm sorry, i didn't mean it,
i wish you were online now.

feels so alone.

anyway.
papers have started and

THANKS MURPHY TAN CHIU LING FOR THE KINDER JOYS.

Complaining sgprean

2009-05-06T19:20:00.005+08:00

hello hello.
i was going to complain but while i was getting my chocolate milk, i saw the magic hour.
it was a reflection from my kitchen window & i just stood there for x minutes & i just went wow.

my camera does God's every day wonders an injustice.
anyway.
i felt like complaining earlier on about how so-and-so is a liar, sider, etc etc, but i think i should use my time on better things. such as studying (ha-ha) / practicing the piano / sleeping.
i don't know, you tell me.

okok, photo spam.

|
failed attempts at trying to take a picture of my grandfather's
iphone in the sms page.

|
sharmala's plastic ducky and oli's bottle

|
humongous yellow tee

|
20 media students crammed in a 20 people lift.
(only half the people)

|
my grandma has nice shades.
(ignore my face, it looks weird)

|
my latest photography subject.
the black cat named sooty the third, aka chio bu.

ok baibai, i need more chocomoo.

2009-05-02T22:54:00.000+08:00

Hello humanoid.
My exam is over and i feel sick again, this is just gr8.
i'll have an early rest, pray for me.

3

2009-05-01T19:16:00.002+08:00

OMG I'M DONE WITH REVISION!
ALL MY MASS COMN TUTORIALS AND LECTURE PRESENTATIONS!!!!
I'm seriously so happy i can jump over the moon!
Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

But waiut.

.
.
.
fynn the masscomns geek says:
I'M DONEEEEEEEE!
omg i'm so hppyyyyyyyyyyyyy@

bhavna. says:
HAHAH, can rmb everything?

fynn the masscomns geek says:
no.

2

2009-05-01T17:14:00.003+08:00

hello again. I finally fnshd half ( i think) of my rvsn for tmr.
this is the most hardcore last minute rvsn ever!
pages of notes await, & now then i realise i hvnt been paying attn in class.
geez.

Exam 1

2009-05-01T15:53:00.002+08:00

This is gr8! My internet's back onnnnnn.
& I will go study masscomns right now.
Yeah, soon. Now now now now now, I promise.

Ok,
BRB

2009-04-30T23:57:00.001+08:00

OH YAR YAR YAR.
Forgot to say uh,
I need to get a hairrrrcuttttt.

Ok I'm going to bed now.
Have a nice Friday+Saturday+Sunday break!

(My gosh, too much POA,
almost typed Sundry expense break. == )

Eh, I'm hungry.
:/

With love, Fynn

2009-04-30T23:35:00.003+08:00

My thoughts are really random now so I'll just shoot off some things on my mind.
Actually if I were to draw out my mind, it would probably look like a piece of
white paper with red crayon scribbles on it.

.
.
I'm srry I can't make you smile like I wanted to.
We're still human, imperfect.

Days have been crazy, madly insane.
And some things have just lost it's meaning, and some
have gained it's place in my life.
Crazy would be a really good word to sum up the week - falling sick, missing school,
breaking down, learning to believe and trust all over again, saying things
I wanted to for so long, feeling blessed, rejected and losing all control.
Oh God, I really don't want to go through shit like this again.

It's a madhooooooouse!
& to think my masscomns exam is this saturday and I my notes are
goodness-knows-where.
& I skipped a week's worth of math and socials.
& not to mention I suck at both my math subs.
& not to add on my own stress, but heck,
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH A F9 MATH GRADE!

.
.
.
.
.
I really have to buck up and ask God for His mercy

"You can find something truly impt in a minute."
(Told'ya my mind's a mess.)

:|

2009-04-27T17:53:00.003+08:00

Hello peoples of ze earth. This is Tessa reporting from my sick bed. I've caught a cold, not swine flu, I have bouts of dry cough and runny nose. (Which explains why I used 10 packets of tissue in school today) Many thanks to those who supplied me with tissue and asked if I was ok, especially YG, i owe you 70cents for the mineral water.

Ok, I need to go sleep, Heavenly Hippy you can make me recover anytime now.

P/s.
Photos from step-down ceremony/ seniors appreciation.

2009-04-23T19:29:00.002+08:00

I finally signed in to friendster after re-trying my 7 different emails. Har Har Har, not funny.
Got me to think about how much has changed.

Actually, just thinking about it is making my stomach churn.

I mean, I started friendster in 2007, back when I was in sec one, and at that time, I was one of those 'act-pai/lian-buay-pai/lian' bimbos. And then I grew up, ( or matured, or evolved or denatured or whatever) into what I am today. Not exactly perfect, but heck, I'm still growing so that's fine with me.

And then I went to a certain someone who meant (and still means) alot to me.
We met back on 2008, and I still remember why. Has to do with some goldfish out of water, that's all I'm telling you. We've been through quite a number of ups and downs, and well actually I have no idea where he is now, but I hope he's doing fine. If you're reading this, please remember I'm still rooting for you.

Then back to my own page and I see my featured friends.
And I can't help but to look back at memories, and the present, and to look forward in the future, only wondering. Gee, Tessa, whatcha gonna do?
Indeed, we're so small compared to God.
God is God, and I am not.

I shall go digest my dinner now.
Enjoy.

2009-04-22T19:31:00.002+08:00

Like a bird with broken wings, it's not how high he flies, but the song he sings.
So, to my dear Kuo Chuan Drama,
it's not the results, but the hardwork,

Our Bronze Award.

2009-04-21T19:06:00.002+08:00

I realized something. Not just today, but a long time ago.
Alright, the thing I realized is.............

I am a horrible person.

Hah. My life is so boring I'm starting to self entertain. Soon, I think my homework is going to be the latest form of entertainment for me.

I lead a sad, sad life.

Oh yes, btw, today is B&J's free cone day.
But Ming, Minyan and I went to get udders instead. And on the way before getting the icecream, we see a squashed pigeon on the floor. Not very good to be seen before eating. Anyway, we've got stomachs of steel so we still went to eat. Ha ha.

Anyway,

View this movie at cultureunplugged.com

Watch this video about world poverty and hunger. (: It's quite sad, but very true.

Yeah.
It is.

Don't make excuses.

2009-04-19T20:08:00.000+08:00

Hi.
My name is Fynn and I'm looking for a job.
Only interested if it's in the media/photography expertise.
Don't mind a no-pay internship.

I.Just.Need.To.Frigghin.Do.Smth.With.My.Life.

2009-04-19T18:08:00.002+08:00

Sg is a very very very hot country.
Nways, there's school tomorrow.

2009-04-18T23:08:00.002+08:00

The most beautiful of dreams are worth nothing if you do not get the support from your friends and families.
And honestly I think it's shit when people have dreams and others see it,
but everyone's too selfish to care.
I don't think I've ever worked harder for anything.
But you've wasted me, yet again!

2009-04-18T22:43:00.001+08:00

I wish there were more of you in my photos.
Never did occur to me what a difference you would make.
I will not give up.

2009-04-18T22:39:00.001+08:00

No, you're not that pretty.
No, you're not that nice.
No, you will never be that good.

Yes, I am a sad sod, who discourages people on the inside, but on the outside encourage them,
because I don't want to see you sad when I tell you the truth,
but I know i'll never be good enough either.

2009-04-18T22:28:00.002+08:00

Sorry for the absence and lack of posts.
I had many thought over the week, but I don't feel like letting the world know how I feel.
Things have just been really messed up. I have been pretty messed too.
Like my whole world just split in half, and then each half into another half and so on.

You weren't there, like I wanted you to be.
What happened.
Did you forget me?

2009-04-15T17:23:00.002+08:00

I'm home reeeeeally earlu today cos nobody wanted to date me out.
Ha ha ha.
I'm actually very sad and crying on the inside. Beware, I might turn suicidal, or maybe I might become a raging people-killer.
You people hurt (ed) me bad.

Laughing-out-loud!

Hahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahha!!!!
Actually, honestly speaking, I'm pretty thankful for the break, it feels very very nice.
So being the lazy bum I am, I shall take a shower (Sg is so freaking hot), I shall complete my homework and sleep till night falls, eat dinner, and then sleep again. Hahahahahah, bliss of 'beauty' sleep.

Shit.
I left my chem book(s) in the locker.

2009-04-14T19:40:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, to love someone is uncontrollably easy: All it takes is just one glance to open a floodgate of emotions. Sometimes, to love someone is bizarrely difficult: it takes a link by fate and years of memories. But always, to love someone and to re-love someone again, it is so inexplicably exotic, because it takes just one simple glance to flush back years of memories and allow another floodgate of emotions to engulf you. Maybe it's not about forgetting the love, but remembering it.

- Low Kay Hua: To forget you

Fancy that.
The scars don't show anything I feel. Nothing at all. I don't want to feel anything.

2009-04-13T22:31:00.002+08:00

I forgot to post this part.
My Polaroid is sent for checking, cos it refused both rolls of film I fed it in the evening. ): So if when it comes back from doctor Fujifilm and has a problem, i wont get my 25 bucks back.
Darn it. Plus if that happens, i owe falala lunch.

I feel like singing.
Put me on a stage, and let me sing.
Because I'm afraid of you people, except you, you, you and you.
And i admit, sometimes, i look at girls with they're boys.
Sometimes i laugh at how naive they are, until i realize why people fall in love.
Everything's wrong to everyone else, but everything's right to them.

2009-04-13T21:33:00.005+08:00

First, I've always wanted to stay in an attic. Like those you see in tv shows, the attics with just one bed and a huge window and the top of your house. It's actually a hollow roof. Ok, enough random.

It is over and done! Syf is over! All the sweat, tears (and not to mention all the blood, ) IT'S FINALLY OVER. I really want to kneel on the floor and cry, because God was so good to us. He was so powerful in bringing us through everything.

Indeed, Philippians 4:13 was right. In Him we can do all things.

Right, on a more somber note,
I will no longer have a maid soon as she wants to return home. Ok, fine, it's no news to you, but i got a shock when I heard. I have never lived without a helper for as long as I have lived (tongue-twister!!!!!) so it came as a complete shock and i had to have my mum repeat a few times. Geez, now then i realize I'm actually quite pampered/spoilt. Go ahead and throw bad descriptions at me.
Alright, I'll have to iron my own clothes. Bahh.

I'm having gastric.
TYFDUGW*&)9281u30je981jchw8fnoer10i023rijdojf.

Okay, okay. Some lame photos of banafala and i at the mrt. ( we were being lame)

Me: We have many unglam shots leh.
Bhavna: Yeah I know, actually, is there any glam ones?
Me: Lemme rephrase- we have few, if not none, glam shots.

/

Yeah, I get jealous.
Yes, I'm not nice to juniors.
You.

2009-04-12T20:30:00.002+08:00

Blink.

Because jealousy is refined.

And because my cousin's spastic.

Lauder Keating Oakleigh the Fifth says:
lol

‡Bryan™‡ says:
hi

Lauder Keating Oakleigh the Fifth says:
hi

‡Bryan™‡ says:
nice to meet u

Lauder Keating Oakleigh the Fifth says:
you too

‡Bryan™‡ says:
u look familiar

Lauder Keating Oakleigh the Fifth says:
you look like money ( cos his dp is money)

‡Bryan™‡ says:
really?
omgosh
thx
all the make up has paid off

Lauder Keating Oakleigh the Fifth says:
wow, who's your make-up artist?

‡Bryan™‡ says:
ermmm
very famous one
u hear his name
u might die of jealousy

Lauder Keating Oakleigh the Fifth says:
oh no.

‡Bryan™‡ says:
stil want to noe who noe

Lauder Keating Oakleigh the Fifth says:
jiale right (sry tp)

‡Bryan™‡ says:
no
its
u sure u want to noe
if later u noe
then u something wrong with u how

Lauder Keating Oakleigh the Fifth says:
HUH? i dont know

‡Bryan™‡ says:
ok
i tell u alr
or u want guess urself
i give u clues

Lauder Keating Oakleigh the Fifth says:
bhishman?

‡Bryan™‡ says:
oi
i say give u clues rite
chicken backside lah

Lauder Keating Oakleigh the Fifth says:
lo

‡Bryan™‡ says:
first clue
very famous in the world

Lauder Keating Oakleigh the Fifth says:
bryan
you did the make-up yourself

‡Bryan™‡ says:
OMGOSH
TESSA U GUESSED IT RITE
smart smart

Lauder Keating Oakleigh the Fifth says:
==

‡Bryan™‡ says:
dun go all jealous and start slithing ur wrist hor
i dun want to go all guilty

ha ha ha.

2009-04-12T19:39:00.000+08:00

SINGAPORE YOUTH FESTIVAL CENTRAL JUDGING.
IYFHIOWEHT932U4O3RNH32RJFMM0O-X09E32093!

2009-04-11T09:51:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry, i don't know why i'm acting this way.

Oh God, help me.

I can never replace my two best guys.
I'm sorry.

Never.

"I will try to fix you."
I wish you'd whisper that to me.

Forever ends when you stopped loving.

It always happens.

2009-04-11T09:24:00.002+08:00

I am feeling like shit now.
Ugly piece of brown fucking shit.

Drama is stupid. So fucking stupid. People expect word to spread in syf, like person a will pass to person b the info, but i'm so sorry, you bitches, the only thing that spreads is gossip, and it spreads like fucking wildfire!
And yes, i do not want to know, nor am i interested in who is dating who, or who got fucked, or who quarreled with teachers and other shitty what-nots. I need to know what i'm doing for drama, i need to know when plans change, i need to be updated with the tt and proj scheme. NOT UPDATED WITH USELESS GOSSIP, OK.
fuck.
and then just awhile ago kylie and bhavna said i don't have to go for drama.
then olivia calls and tells me i'm changed to backstage crew.
fucking shitholes - i didn't know that.

Now i'm stuck with the losers doing supporters.
whoopee-fucking-doo.
and i have to miss pft and re-do another day.
I'd rather be crew anyday. Supporters = losers = fynn.

take a hike!

2009-04-10T20:47:00.005+08:00

mysterium tremendum et fascinans,

I woke up late this morning and had my dad drive me to church.
Then I transferred to Uncle Bernard's jeep and got to the fraser point trail start mark (or whatever it's called) and brisk hike-d half the way there. I almost passed out. Hahaha.
Ok la, photos will talk for me.

more photos to come, hopefully.

2009-04-09T21:41:00.001+08:00

Hello. I'm down with flu/ cold/ gastric/ poisoning/ thinking too much.
But either way, I'm not feeling well.. yeah.
Like last year, just before Good Friday hike, I fell sick.
Oh man, that sucks, I want to go. ):
I'll pray.

okbaibai.

spongebob & me

2009-04-08T22:02:00.003+08:00

I'm smiling because i get to pon pft on monday
I'm goofing around cos i have sgr rush
I'm side-grinning cos we call the coach a witch but she doesn't know
I'm sian-ed cos there's mass com tomorrow
I'm shocked cos I realizd syf is in a few days
I'm blowing my cheeks cos I'm staring at goldfishies
I'm wearing geek spects cos I really do wear spects. 8)
I'm smiling like a phwool cos I am one.
I'm grinning cos I'm retarded
I'm doing a toothy-grin cos I am going to brsh my teeth
I'm blinking cos Johann doesn't need mascara
I'm looking worried cos I am
Pokr face?
I'm having cramps, and it's so PAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
Ha-ha-ha
The end.

experiencing joy

2009-04-07T20:43:00.002+08:00

beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.
interclass girls '3J09.

|
it's so difficult to sum up the day. & everything that has happened. all the matches we played, all the new friendships we formed with the other class players and experiencing God. it was just so bloody beautiful.
|
at first, it was dark, overcast and practically about to storm, but we all held hands and prayed for the weather, for safety and for victory. indeed, God has been faithful and the watcher cleared by 1630. (although i was starting to doubt Him when the sky got darker at 1600)
He really was faithful & we managed to play our games.
|
we lost, but even though we had a very close fight with 3 love, we had a lot of fun & enjoyment.
plus, we bonded, we carried each others burden, and we tried.
and thus, we achieved victory in out own personal ways.
for me, i really grew to love the people around me, cos like in a soccer game, without one player, it would be difficult to carry on.
par to in life, when you forget to treasure someone, you'll never succeed.
(:

thank you for the closing prayers we had.
i (hearts) Kcpss 3J, 2009.

2009-04-04T13:17:00.002+08:00

Life feels like a boring routine.

And Singapore weather is crazy!

Plus, my nails feel naked cos they're unpainted.

And I can't type for nuts on a laptop.

Cos my desktop is for servicing again.

So hot, SO HOT OK.

Youth meeting later.

Main congregation / LTM tomorrow.

Piano classes tomorrow.

School on Monday that ends at 3.40.

Soccer at 3.

Drama, drama, screw drama.

Quit, I am a quitter, i hate drama, I love band.

Never had the chance.

Pressure, head aches.

Msn pop-ups.

"Ocean hues and setting up security."

Life is such a boring routine.

Without love,
Fynn.

2009-03-31T20:02:00.002+08:00

Hahahahahaha.
Epic accident: I dyed my hair black cos I read the label wrongly even though it was damn huge.
What a joke. So, now my hair is equally black as whet the stupid photo company photoshopped my hair colour to be.

BLACK. I HAVE BLACK HAIR! AND IT'S NOT EVEN NATURAL!

Sedate

2009-03-31T17:54:00.003+08:00

I'm so pissed and fucked I just want to cry.
Just feels so bad, and I wish, I really really wish I had the guts to leave everything there.
Trust you, trust you, how can I ever? It's crazy to even try, & forgetting you is like ripping out my heart and returning the half that belongs to you. Cos I don't want it anymore, but you never wanted it anyway.
You saved me and kept me till the next day, & I'm alive because I was holding on to you. Wonder, why the hell I even took your hand. Should have let go, should have jumped, should have never looked back, should have never known you, should have never spoken to you, should have never loved you.
It's so hollow without you. Figuratively,a hole in my heart where you should have never ever been. Sickening, the way I never succeeded in letting go after you. Nothing seemed like a big deal then, nothing's a small deal now.

Your music makes me sway
The angels singing say we are alone with you
I am alone and they are too with you

[street]

2009-03-31T17:36:00.002+08:00

FUCK
THIS
SHIT
BLOGGER
JUST
ATE
MY
POST
ABOUT
MY
REALLY
BAD
DAY
.
THE
WHOLE
FUCKING
600+
WORD
RANT
.
FUCK
YOU
ALL
,
ENJOY
YOUR
DAY
.
what a joke

lily allen inspiration

2009-03-30T22:03:00.002+08:00

I feel so f_cked. (Would you like to buy a vowel?)
|
Look inside,
Look inside your tiny mind
Now look a bit harder
Cause we're so uninspired,
so sick and tired of all the
hatred you harbor
|
People like you make me sick with joy & pain.
I made a right choice in choosing my best friend, just a wrong choice of ever trying to forget.
|
Never
will I try to,
ever
again.

2009-03-30T17:24:00.002+08:00

I feels so weird without you here. It felt so weird I won't stop fiddling with the pendant on my neck, even though it has nothing to do with you.

At least, I think it doesn't.

ebb and flow

2009-03-29T21:34:00.004+08:00

Hello, it's me again. I'm like deep-frying my brain trying to think of what to shoot for the competition. Chill, breathe, breathe (!)
Ahhhh.I don't know and my head hurts right now. I still (yes, STILL!) haven't done Hist-o-ry and/or Chinese. Blah, I am so screwed, not to mention I'm in severe need of funding for my photography expedition(s). Heehee, film > digicamzx but more $$$$ which I do not have. Hur Hur.
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I still have Espoir to write tomorrow. I. AM. SO. DEAD.

2009-03-29T19:42:00.000+08:00

Good luck to band for SYF, do us proud!
Anw, I'm wearing a tie-dye shirt now and I'm sleepy. I shall have an early night tonight.
Baiizx.

2009-03-29T01:04:00.003+08:00

I forgot to add this too.

see below
see below
see below
see below
see below
see below
see below
Greattttt, I forgot.
Oh yeah.
I want to re-dye my hairrrrrrrr.
Go to sleep.
I forgot something else. YGUHUIH8HGUYGI3JGUIHI0!

Byebye, again,again, again.
Luffs.

2009-03-29T00:57:00.001+08:00

Hello. I just had a sudden rush to do reflections, even though it’s like 12:52 in the AM and I should be in bed cos there’s church tomorrow and ya da ya da ya da.

I should be nicer to people, because nobody likes a mean girl.
I should pray more and welcome the Holy Spirit into my life more often, not just during camps.
I should respect my seniors/elders (Even if sometimes they really don’t deserve it!)
I will persevere, work harder, bite my lips and face life.
I want to take random Polaroid photos with my friendzzz even though film costs a bomb and I don’t know what to do with them
Brainstorm for the competition
Start on the competition cos the due date is LESS THAN A MONTH AWAY!

OK, that’s about all the sudden random thought I had. Yeahhhh, so, goodnight. Kay, it’s 12:57 AM now.

(End of 5 minutes reflection post)

2009-03-28T22:09:00.002+08:00

Heehee, Happy Earth Hour. I was scared of the dark, so I lighted candles and talked on the phone with J. Hurhur, and I took my dog out and lighted the candles. Oh wait, I already said that.
My uncle went to Paris and bought me chocolates. My momma says the easter egg he bought back cost like 20SGD. There are like I think 10 pieces of choc in the egg so... one piece is like 2buckaroos. Crazy, must be some damn-good-chocolate.
Anw, the candles are still lighted but the lights are on, and now I'm going to watch my show.
BAIIZXZXZX.

Thanks, I appreciate it. (:

2009-03-28T00:23:00.002+08:00

Hello. I just changed my blogskin, skin kudos to toomunch. Yeeahhh, the credit's there and whatever. Hur Hur.
Alright, my mom wants me to go to bed nao and my dog's wagging his spastic tail at me.
And I just sneezed.
I'm really bored, my eyes are dry and I am getting sleepy, so goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite~!

P/p/s. For those losers out there who missed my previous posts, TOO BAD! I have no archive link, so you can't read my archives unless you type out the archive link page yourself, and the address is L-O-N-G, ok(!!!)

2009-03-27T23:51:00.001+08:00

2009-03-27T23:06:00.001+08:00

Being with you is so dysfunctional
I really shouldn't miss you,
But I can't let you go,
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you.

Nah, I just can't let go.

2009-03-27T22:55:00.001+08:00

Hihihello. Teh week is over and my nose hurts.
Heeheehee, and I’m going out with bimbo before church tomorrow to get/buy/hunt/finally purchase her wallet tomorrow. (AGAIN!)’

Riiiight, I shall go do my blog-hop rounds now.
Zaijianzx.

Love, xiiaofynnzxzx.

It’s all good

2009-03-26T21:57:00.001+08:00

One more day to Fridayyyy, ok, Tessa, you can do it. One more dayyy~. Right, so when I was going to school this morning I was thinking to myself, ‘today is going to be sluggish and sucky.’ and oh ho ho, I was right. Think sleepy in class, 2 compos and having to look at the person I hate. Hah, BIG JOKE, SYF, BIG JOKE. I can’t sand her man, so frickn’ rude and so crude. How the hell did she become SM anyway. It’s okkkkk~ man, cos when SYF is over, I’ll be higher rank than you, and then you see what happens to you for being so rude to your crew. I’ll make sure you’ll get living hell from me after SYF is over, and then you’ll be just older than me, I’m still of a higher rank than you, so IYF, seniorrr.
Hahahaha, when I was complaining about her to my mum, she said something which was really funny.
’Orh, that girl name is _ right.’
’Yeah, how you remember.’
’The person who took over my job and backstabbed me also called _. So now all the _s I know all bad one.’

Hahahahahahahahahahhaha, BIG FUGGING JOKE MAN.
P/s/s. Say hi to my orange friend and my green friend. It’s all good. And the weird smiley face.

2009-03-25T21:12:00.002+08:00

It seems that i can't shake those memories. Do you feel the same way too?
Pain, insane burning, slicing, stabbing agony, i hate this feeling, really. it feels like war, it makes me sick, it twists my insides, it forces me to think, it makes me cry. yeah, i feel so little, cry, useless, useless feelings, useless nostalgia that will probably never change anything.
i really want to be just the way we used to be, i hate the way things are now. sure, we're talking, but even i can tell things are different. it's me, i'm sabotaging our friendship, it's unfair to both of us, i know.
everything, EVERY SINGLE THING, it reminds me of you, you, you. i can still remember all the words which made me feel so glad to be alive, i remember every feeling you made me feel, but it's slowly turning to stone. bad description, but it's really numbing me out, it's slowly making me feel less, and i'm so afraid of totally forgetting how it feels to be alive and your friend.
perhaps if i wasn't that selfish, things would be so different, things wont end up this way, and i don't have to be guilty of anything. guiltless love and freedom, i wish.

seems unfair that things just happen to me and you.

2009-03-25T18:32:00.002+08:00

It has been a slow day. Really slow, cos my bio teacher and chemistry teacher didn't come to class. Ha ha ha.
And i made careless mistakes in the math test. Awesommmmeee, tessa, awesomeeee. i'm really tired anyway, but i'm going to spam my ears with lily allen and not bother about mel. heehee, it's unfair, j doesn't have to go for lecture tomorrow. and he gave me an ugly cut on my lip when he was trying to smack me during expressions. thanks j, thankkkkkkks for trying to make me uglier. not working though. :)
alright,
ldfud.

2009-03-24T19:26:00.001+08:00

I was reading Oli’s till death do us apart. And she’s right, it send shivers to you, and it’s so scarily accurate, I want to cru. I’m serious. It’s so scary. And guess what, I found a song that scares me so bad I’m barely breathing, I’m sweating, and memories, they literally flash before my eyes.

I can only ask you why, baby, why.

Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissin'
And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's
All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood
I dont why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt

Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too.
The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?
Drinkin' tea in bed
Watching DVD's
When I discovered all your dirty grotty magazines
You take me out shopping and all we'd buy is trainers
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us
the first time that you introduced me to your friends
and you could tell I was nervous, so you held my hand
when I was feeling down, you made that face you do
no one in the world that could replace you

Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of me and you
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you feel the same way too
The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things remind me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

2009-03-24T19:04:00.001+08:00

In a sentence, I am feeling like a moody little piece of shit right now. ):
Ranting about drama today with Oli, Sarah and Banana.

Ugh, I am disgusted at the way Syf is handled. Bloody haphazard process.
Anyway, Syf is screwed, I heard Engie screwed the script so bad it doesn't make sense. Haha, as if I care. Anyway, I got really pissed at the thing I saw on the drama board. Honestly, I am irked at the way the SM distributes the jobs. Oli and I have worked our asses off trying to make Syf a success, and you, my dear SM is just sucking up to Engie. Don’t think I missed the smug look you had when Engie called us ‘Bad energy’. Like please, you bitch, please LOOK at your crew who’s working like dogs and you tell your darrrrrrrrling SM all the info and you don’t tell us anything and expect us to know. Maybe you think we’re psychic, but we’re not. And your SM doesn’t tell us anything. NOTHING, NADA, ZILCH. Frickin’ bitch both o9f you are. Yes, I’m rude, yes, I’m disrespectful, but I’m just voicing out what I feel, not that you take heed to them anyway. You just heck-care about all the problems we have, and then expect everything done.

Ha. Take a good look, Drama.
Take a long hard, good look.
And make the right decision, QUIT.

And I am a weapon of massive consumption

and its not my fault it’s how I’m programmed to function

I’ll look at the sun and I’ll look in the mirror

2009-03-22T19:59:00.002+08:00

Hohoho, what's this?
Why yes, SCHOOL'S STARTING TOMORROW. Time to say hello to attire checks, strict rules, screamings, bitchings and the endless toil of lesson. Joy, really, oh the yippe-doodle-doo for school.
If it wasn't for friends, I really wouldn't know why I bothered to drag myself to school every morning.
Alright, for all of you out there who have been wondering why I disappeared from the face of the blogging world for 2 days, I had hardcore drama and my dad was gaming on my desktop system.
I don't even want to blog about what a bitch drama was, and still is and dirty my 'clean(ahem)-blog image'. Yeeeeeeahhh, I'm clean.
Anyway, still recovering from Ha + poisoning + cramps. Hope it doesn't hurt tomorrow. Gahhhh, and I have to go to school myself tomorrow cos Sarah has to reach by 7.15, and I'm a bad friend, too lazy to wake up. Too lazyyyyyy~.
On the other hand,it's last day of tuition today until April and I got my phone, I'm on starhub now. I hope my phone doesn't spoil long before September 3rd week. So if it does by then, I can get a phone for my birthday. Materialistic, bad bad.

OK, back to elearning and whatever crap I have to rush before school starts tomorrow.
Ldfd.

2009-03-19T22:23:00.001+08:00

This is not my home.
You said it yourself.

You have no idea how fucking right you are.
Thanks Dad,

2009-03-19T20:30:00.002+08:00

I'm in a horrible mood right now. I can hardly believe that I am going to waste (yes, WASTE) 12 hours in drama practice when Ms Engie so 'politely' threw us out when she didn't need us. Aka the crew/stagehands. Bloody hell, not forgetting to count in the hours we sacrificed after school to wait for practice to start at 4pm to find out that she didn't need us and she dismissed us with a wave of her hand. Can you imagine ending school at 1430 and then having lunch and having to wait for 1 and a half hours for that coach to come and then she just asks you very RUDELY to get out of practice when she doesn't need you? And when she does BAM you're supposed to materialise in front of her face.
Screw her attitude.
And to think we're working for a gold. And Ms D questions whoever doesn't want a gold get jolly well quit on the spot. Well, sign me on, I want to leave, but could I? NO, cos I'm a bloody exco, like I wanted to be one anyway. I've been trying to leave this stupid CCA since last year, but could I - no, everland was priority. This year? NO, syf is priority. And I could've left this bloody CCA only if the timing was right, if I wasn't made exco and if I could have heartlessly left SYF hanging. But No, seniors tell me, stay for the sake of Mr koh, because we still believe that one day, he will come back.
And did I mention my utter disgust at the junior's attitudes?
Bloody little pricks we only show you attitude and no respect. I don't remember being so difficult to the seniors. Hope you little asses out there get your ideas right and start showing respect.
And I'm totally contradicting myself because I'm showing measely amounts of respect to the drama teachers and coach, but it's true that they're bloody unreasonable. Don't even get me started on Mdm Chng and how she hates the seniors. It's a conspiracy, her and the juniors, just to di siao all the seniors into quitting. Stop trying to force us into letting you be in charge of drama. Cos it's not just me who doesn't like you, so please, STOP BEING OVERLY DRAMATIC like for who-knows-what reasons. Don't tell, we are not interested. Ok, thanks.
Fuck rehearsals tomorrow.
And please, we will not get a gold or a gold-with honors. What a joke. The school's been around for like how long? And we have never had a gold for any aesthetics CCA, so why are we so different.
La-dee-frickin-da, see all those poor people who are attending drama tomorrow, including me.

ldfd, fynn.

2009-03-19T15:38:00.001+08:00

Hi all, I ain’t feeling very well.
Screw my stomach lehhhh, always give me problems, now I can’t eat, can’t drink.
So I shall plop my lazy ass in front of the tv, get my dog, a puke bag ready and watch tv and attempt to sleep – maybe I’d feel better.

D’okay, internet not making me feel any better.
BRB.

2009-03-18T22:57:00.002+08:00

Bad way to end a good day, I know.
Just feel really moody suddenly, thank you pms.

I keep thinking about the really weird dream I had.
It's so .. haunting. I can still feel the hands, I can still taste the air, I still shiver when I think about it.
I guess what's so scary is the reality of the dream,
it's been a long time since I remembered how a dream felt, it's been a long time since I felt the fingers intertwined with mine.
So long.
Such a long time.

I don't want anything to happen.
I don't want anything to happen.
I don't want to lose you again.
Not again.
But it's been so long.

It's been so long since I have touched you,
I can't remember how it feels,
To have your loving arms around me,
This is the pain that never heals.

All my life I have been searching,
For someone honest just like you,
You left me here without a reason,
Every tear belongs to you.

Bamboo rice

2009-03-18T21:48:00.001+08:00

Met Bimbo again. City Hall this time to get the drama thing done, kudos to sswj. Riiiight, I wasn’t feeling too good actually, but I was nice enough to accompany her. Cos she begged. Yes, KK, you begged. Actually I ain’t feeling like the top of the world right now either, so yeeeeeahhhh. So much for retail therapy.

And I had to wait super long, for the Bimbo to get the City Hall from TAMPINES.
She finally arrived after 5624312380391- minutes and after 12761203810 calls and SMS-es asking her to hurry up./ She finally FINALLY FINALLY (thank God) arrived.

Haha, laughed until I almost passed out at Burger King.
Kylie: Who are you taking to prom? I’m taking Tessa.
Me and SSWJ: ==!

The he went home and we walked around. Got her chocs as usual.
Heehee, then went for dinner. really wasn’t feeling goodd already. But she shared with me her bamboo rice dinner and I felt a little better. Thanks KK. (:
And then we went to jalan, jalan, and talk talk.

Huge fly on the mirror. Should have used the swatter to hit it instead of hitting me uh, Kylie. Hit the big fly. Not tessa.

Oh right, we went into flashnsplash again. Different outlet and went into NUM twice, different outlets. Hahahahahaha, think JIALE.

2009-03-17T23:41:00.001+08:00

Dear _

I you.
You have a nice
You make me   .
You should .
Someday I will rule the world.
You + me = .
If I saw you now I'd
I want to    you.
I would build a    just for you.
If I could sing you any song it would be   .
We could   under the stars.
Love,
stickiie
(P.S. .)

Comradezs

2009-03-17T22:00:00.001+08:00

God is real!
He is so real, it's so awesome.
And truly it satisfies so much when someone you preach to is saved.
It is the greatest treasure.
Thank you Lord, for everything You have done.
Teach me to have faith, teach me to trust, teach me to love.
:D

p0k3rf4c3

2009-03-17T17:24:00.001+08:00

Met Bimbo at *plaza to hunt for wallets (again) Hahahaha, while I was going to potong pasir mrt, i accidentally got down too early, so I had to walk a really long distance before I managed to reach PTPS. Rarrr, lesson learnt, next time just take to TPY/Bishan and then take train to Dhoby from there. Right, lesson learnt.
So, when I finally reached Plaza, bought the praline thing for Kylie, (as always, haha) and then we started to hunt for wallets. A few at flashnsplash caught my eye but theye were in a rather bad state, and emily the starnge was going 50%! But because it was in a not-so-good state, I didn’t get it.
So we walked around from b2- 4th level and talked talked talked and took photos.

*In case you are wondering why we dont just go into town, it’s because I hate town and I can’t walk for extreme long times during shopping trips. Heh.

Riiiiight, then we went to eat cos I was hungry. Stopped at the MUST GO PLACE for us, aka tim sum and icemonster. Had a nice time eating, being unglam and taking photos. Heeheehee. Then we went back to flashnspalsh again. I think we spent 1hr there in total out of the 4 hours plus. Hahahahaha.
I can’t really recall what shops we went into, but I know we went into Sasa twice, Marks and spenser once and into fns thrice. Brilliant, I promise you. (Y)(Y)(Y)

And then we saw Jonathan they all plus Jit and Xin tang and David and Jovi and Kenneth. Basically everyone there, I know and Kylie knows hardly anyone there. LOL. Then went back to Novena cos she had to take some test and I went home. THE END.

Actually, not the end YET. I got home and I found out no one’s at home so I had to wait outside until someone came home. They came home and tada here I am now, plopped in front of the computer. OK, get ready for photo spam/

If you used my camera and flipped the photos really fast it looks like a video. 8D

you’re the best

2009-03-16T17:58:00.001+08:00

When I breathe, I feel you.
When you smile, everything's alright.
When I'm with you, I just want to kill you cos you'll be irritating me.
That's why I love bestfriend.
That's why I love YOU, just the way you are.

pantomime

2009-03-16T14:07:00.002+08:00

“Children. You keep them safe. You make good for me.
Is where you were supposed to be. Eddie Main-ten-ance.”

It's raining out, it's just pouring and pouring and pouring. It's just wet, but don't get me wrong, I like the rain, I think it's awesome in many ways. It looks like the skies are crying, and it's like a cage. It keeps you from going out if you're at home and it keeps you from going home if you're outside. Simply put, rain is under the same category as a coin, a mirror, a story. 2 sides, 2 different point of views from 2 people.

Rain's just like what you're going through. It is essential for life and growth, it reminds us of people who gave and took your tears. Rain leaves a sense of nostalgia when you are caught in it. Rain drenches you from head to toe when you're caught out without shelter. More often than not, people have spent rainy days with the people they love, whether by sharing an umbrella, or staying stuck at each other's house, hiding in shelters, or walking and playing in the rain. It's just little acts like this which goes a long way. Yes, I still remember that one fine day after I got to know you- we were childish, waiting and wishing, for heaven to release it's floodgates.

Mitch Albom once wrote this about love and rain.
‘Love like rain, can nourish from above, drenching couples with a soaking joy. But sometimes, under the angry heat of life, love dries on the surface and must nourish from below, tending to its roots, keeping itself alive.’

What beauty and infinite possibilities rain brings to man.
God is in the details, He is the details.

7 days in a week

2009-03-15T16:26:00.001+08:00

My computer is backkkk! Although I had to survive a very sad 2 days without it and I could not rant about how shiity drama was on Friday – I love my computer, it is back. I missed you. Gahh, now I know what people mean when they die without technology. It was like going cold-turkey on technology and internet instead of drugs. Terrible, terrible! But I’m ok now, because I’m back online.
Fortunately, it is not the March holidays, the well-deserved 9 days of hallowed rest, which I only have 7 days of it left. Zomg, the weekends went by fast. I’m waiting for my tuition teacher now, which explains why I’m on the computer at this hour.

BTW, I will probably be slugging through this holiday with CCA (wtf) training for 2,4 (wtfx2) photographs (maybe) and the oxymoronic thing called holiday homework.

[Jit] says:
bio elearn
ss elearn
poa elearn
chemistry elearn
hmm
poa wksht
ss source based question
thats all i think

Yes, that is ALOT. Alright, sucks, I know. And CCA. I heard from KK Barker practice is till 11pm on Friday. Crazy shit.
Anw, I believe tuition teacher’s here. So I gotta jet.

twin flame

2009-03-12T20:35:00.004+08:00

I was thinking to myself what a good day it was.
And murphy's law had to spoil my much-deserved peace by messing around with my sound system. Let me tell you what tragedy has befallen my speakers- they are not functioning, there is no sound, and even the earphones are not working. All my songs in media player are corrupted and I have a dark feeling my father has something to do with it.
But on a happier side, you're finally listening to me (!!!!!!)

Ok, anyway I am blushing madly right now.

"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet,
regardless of time, place, or circumstance.
The thread may stretch or tangle,
but it will never break."
- an ancient Chinese belief

The two people connected by the red thread are said to be destined lovers, regardless of time, place or circumstances. It is said that this magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break.

2009-03-11T21:46:00.002+08:00

I really don't want to go to school tomorrow.
I'm tired out, and my mental health isn't doing so great. Since school started, I've lost weight, and for me, that isn't good.
I'm tired, lethargic and confused.
It's like I don't know what's real and what's not, it's like being stuck in winter while it's summer.
Out of place and fragile, I'm too drained with schoolwork.

I want to cry.
I need to cry.

2009-03-11T19:29:00.002+08:00

"You said move on , where do I go?
I guess second best is all I will know"

Cause when I'm with him , I am thinking of you .What you would do if you were the one who was spending the night ? Oh I wish that I was still looking into your eyes, even today.
I'm terrified of even looking at you now, because I know I will never get over you when I look into your eyes again.
I'm sorry for ever taking a step in, I can't get out cos I'll miss you and it's just too much to bear.
Fear is getting the best of me.
Distraction is the way to go.
Lock and key , they go together, save my life. Go ahead, I dare you to remember me.

2009-03-10T21:43:00.005+08:00

The photos are in! And the cost price was $13.90 instead of $10.90.
Never mind, I must chill, because the photos turned out greattttttt! (ps, darren, if you're reading this, film is not extinct yet - I checked)

Yes Yes Yes, awesome.

"The silhouette world under a beautiful sun drown sky is worth exchanging for a mere one second spent with you."

2009-03-09T19:10:00.002+08:00

I admit sometimes I do wonder where you are and what you're doing. I can't help who I love, and sometimes I may forget what you said, but I'll never forget how you made me feel. You promised everything would be ok in the end, and if it's not, it's not the end. I'll never stop loving you and nothing can make us part. I just want to hold you tight and feel your heart close to mine. I know you're special cause you always manage to make me smile no matter how bad I feel. The spaces between my fingers are made to be filled with yours. Every time I see you I find another reason to smile - I never expected to find someone so perfect. You mean everything to me and the love you have given me will never be replaced. Anyone can make someone smile or cry , but it takes someone special to make you smile when there are already tears in your eyes. Never regret something that made you smile. No man is worth your tears, but the one who is would never make you cry. Break the rules and stand apart, ignore your head and follow your heart. Boys are like the stars in the sky, millions of them, but only one can make your wish come true.

I'm listening to 'I go crazy- DHT'. It's been sometime since I've heard the song and I really love the words, they hold so much meaning I can more or less relate to.
School has been ok, and I have been mugging mathematics for the last 2 hours minimum. I can do 4/6 of the questions but the more intermediate ones are murder to my braincells. I feel really moody now, maybe cos of the beautiful rainy weather and the song, i don't know.
I still have to brush up and memorize indices rules and standard form terms (think pico, nano, tera, etc) This is really madness, I have to take the re-test tomorrow after tutorial. Just my luck, I absolutely hate Tuesdays and Thursdays. I think Thursday is my least favourite day of the week because of lecture but Tuesday is better than Thursdays by a teeny-weeny bit cos of soccer.
Righto, I shall continue to mug/revise after dinner.

2009-03-08T19:40:00.002+08:00

I finaaaally captured the last of today's sunset onto my camera. And it is beautiful, I just hope it would turn out exactly the same as when I shot it when I send it for development.
However, I have 8 shots left on the current roll for tomorrow's shoot at yck with Alice aka Suen.
In case you're wondering why I refuse to purchase another roll of film is because the development for each roll + scan to cd is S$10.90. I am too poor/broke/cheap to burn a hole in my pocket just to satisfy my immediate craving of photos.
I am going to take proper photos (with people aka Suen and me) in it because I have wasted half my film shooting trees, birds, flowers, landscapes and the vast blue skies. Rare, in this crazy Singapore weather which forecasts rain everyday. Boohoo.
But I would really like to capture some rain weather photos. Stupid 8 shots left, I better make the best of you. Tsktsk.
Oh wait.
I can always shoot it, develop the first roll this week, and develop the second roll when I finish shooting with it (probably quite some time later) Ahhh, decisions, decisions.
And just my luck, Suen's not online and I just accidentally deleted her number. YFIHSOIJWOJDOGUYSBIAG EIQHGSHIAEHOHSOIHOSJIOP!!!!!!!!!

Connection

2009-03-07T21:34:00.002+08:00

The penniless self-proclaimed photographer is writing "wise" literature again. I've been doing some thinking, and I've decided not to neglect my digital canon camera. I shall use that to take those photos which are no point of paying for scanning/development, as to save some $$$.
But when I really tak boleh tahan and need a break, I'll use the SLR.
But, I just love the whole feel of the SLR, it's bulky exterior, yet it's ability to take focused shots. Sigh, the terrible dilemma of having advanced technology and living in a digitalized world.
Although, I still stand on my count that parents should support our hobbies.
I just can't see myself taking shots with a digital camera to relax and unwind. I dunno, it just seems, out of place.
Sigh, I really have to get out more, but that means more SLR action = more $$$$
Damn the woes of a penniless self-proclaimed photographer. Damn the woes, I banish you.

Right, so I really want to shoot on Monday to waste the remaining of the 35mm.
Any takers?

Comment.

Rainbow

2009-03-07T10:39:00.001+08:00

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it,
And look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

All of us under its spell,
We know that it's probably magic...

Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
... Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm s'posed to be...
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Everyday's Sunday

2009-03-05T20:41:00.002+08:00

I know that I should stop flooding my blog with updates every like 8 hours, but I'm so sick of being sick even though it's only been 2 days. Wonder what those antibiotics can do to you. Tsktsk.
Right. So I went back to school just to bore myself twice as bad through media studies which I practically sms-ed/slept/f*cked through today because for
1. I came back for DISC, not M (ass)
2. I hate M (ass) but I highly doubt that I can drop it.
I really need to get out as-soon-as I recover from this. I cannot take another day of bull-shitting through my life in school, CCA and home. I hate it when I'm forced to do stuff, I hate it when things don't go my way. I hate it when I have unsupportive people around me. Yes, I may sound totally spoilt to all you people out there, but I cannot take it anymore. If all you people out there don't like what you're seeing or reading, buzz off!

I want to do what I like, I want to drop out of Media, I wish I could try out all the subjects before I made my choice last year. I wish I could turn back time. I wish my parents would care, I wish they would support me in my interest. I wish things were different, I wish I wasn't weak, I wish you didn't go. I want to leave, I want to run, I want to hide.

Hayfever 3

2009-03-05T09:58:00.001+08:00

Still home. I knocked out for 17 hours yesterday after the mega-dose of medication.
Feeling better after the sleep-fest but still voiceless.
Alright, back to Media (Bleh) Studies (Bleh) Homework (Bleh x10000)

Hayfever 2

2009-03-04T14:11:00.004+08:00

Yes, I left school early due to fever and total disorientation. Obviously, it was because my hayfever worsened. So, I have to get an MC for ponning school and math test so I went to pay the doctor a visit. In turn, i got 5 sets of medication, of which 1 is antibiotics and another is fever medication. My throat hurts cos it's inflamed and I'm sniffing like mad thanks to blooming season.
Damn, I knew I shouldn't have gone to school this morning.
Tsktsk, but too bad I'll have to drag my sorry ass to school tomorrow for lecture & disc-profiling. Ha ha ha.
Stupid lecture. Stupid, stupid lectures.

Try

2009-03-03T19:19:00.003+08:00

I've got hayfever. Hahahaha, the bloody flowers are in bloom and I'm allergic to the pollen so I'm sneezing and scratching every time I walk outside. Hahahaha. Stupid flowers.
Ok, this is so lame.
I have to stop telling myself I'm fine, laughing when I'm hurting the worse. And I'm so sick of parents, my father is just crazy, screaming at me for nothing, telling me I'm stupid. And to think he goes to church where they preach, 'Fathers, do not provoke your children'.
And my mother is equally matched in insanity. Just refuses to support my photography, it's just so... I don't even know how to describe it. I'm angry, pissed, annoyed, upset, sad, discouraged. I hate this. Schoolwork stress is getting to me, and my health is deteriorating. Madness.
All I can do is try, but I'm so tired of failure and I'm not encouraged by success. The more I sow, the less flowers that bloom.

The more I grow, the less I know.