It seems that i can't shake those memories. Do you feel the same way too?
Pain, insane burning, slicing, stabbing agony, i hate this feeling, really. it feels like war, it makes me sick, it twists my insides, it forces me to think, it makes me cry. yeah, i feel so little, cry, useless, useless feelings, useless nostalgia that will probably never change anything.
i really want to be just the way we used to be, i hate the way things are now. sure, we're talking, but even i can tell things are different. it's me, i'm sabotaging our friendship, it's unfair to both of us, i know.
everything, EVERY SINGLE THING, it reminds me of you, you, you. i can still remember all the words which made me feel so glad to be alive, i remember every feeling you made me feel, but it's slowly turning to stone. bad description, but it's really numbing me out, it's slowly making me feel less, and i'm so afraid of totally forgetting how it feels to be alive and your friend.
perhaps if i wasn't that selfish, things would be so different, things wont end up this way, and i don't have to be guilty of anything. guiltless love and freedom, i wish.

seems unfair that things just happen to me and you.