Try

I've got hayfever. Hahahaha, the bloody flowers are in bloom and I'm allergic to the pollen so I'm sneezing and scratching every time I walk outside. Hahahaha. Stupid flowers.
Ok, this is so lame.
I have to stop telling myself I'm fine, laughing when I'm hurting the worse. And I'm so sick of parents, my father is just crazy, screaming at me for nothing, telling me I'm stupid. And to think he goes to church where they preach, 'Fathers, do not provoke your children'.
And my mother is equally matched in insanity. Just refuses to support my photography, it's just so... I don't even know how to describe it. I'm angry, pissed, annoyed, upset, sad, discouraged. I hate this. Schoolwork stress is getting to me, and my health is deteriorating. Madness.
All I can do is try, but I'm so tired of failure and I'm not encouraged by success. The more I sow, the less flowers that bloom.

The more I grow, the less I know.